Urgent Job Vacancy

Urgent Job Vacancy: Leader of the Free World

Exciting challenges ahead

1. Economic, diplomatic and military experience advantageous.
2. Must bring own backbone and moral compass.
3. Likeability a plus.
4. Competitive working environment.

Planet Earth is keen to fill this unexpectedly vacant senior appointment.

As World Leader you like human beings and will be comfortable managing a diverse and inclusive team including non-whites, women and poor people. You're a big believer in communication, and can form complete sentences, using long words. You will be meeting lots of people and are good at remembering names, faces and job titles. You're excited by the prospect of travel and can find other countries by name on a map. The successful candidate demonstrates a strong belief in freedom. Many benefits including private jet and own TV show, Application process is by democratic consensus for a limited time only.